i may be having the best week ever. nothing in particular has changed, but my attitude is just a whole lot better. things at work are running smoothly again...

i had been off kilter for a couple months and i have no idea why things "feel" back to normal, but they do and that's a-ok with me.

tonight piffy (geez, i know i've been in knoxville too long when i start referring to him @ work as such - even if allie introduces him as landon...like we're adults or something. lol.) & i are going to watch attack of the show's 1000 episode. we're pretty much addicted to that show. in fact, olivia munn has de-throned scarlett johannson as landon's supreme hottie. i never thought i'd see the day (and, i think she's hella-hot too, of course).

life is good.

olive came back from daycare looking like she lost 10 lbs. =/ piffy & i are always semi-worried about her. lol. she did great though. she is in our bed as i type this...just chillin'. =) i predict she will sleep for 3 days.

i actually didn't do too bad today getting back into the swing of things at work. our trip was actually uber relaxing and i had a GREAT time. sunday morning we of course overslept and missed our flight, so we took a much later one, which was well worth it. we'll remember that next time, especially after partying with friends (b/c fyi, for those who haven't experienced it, flying while hung over is teh suck).

some things are floating around my head, but i don't have the attention span right now to type them...

yay. looks like we will be renters for another year.

our new place is:
-cheaper
-we have roof access (*SQUEE*)
-we have a yard!!! (EVEN BIGGER *SQUEE*)
-we are above doctor's offices (including a gynecologist)
-we are right next door to a grocery store
-it is already painted from the previous tenants in funky colors
-it is two blocks away from my bff from work
-i can walk to work every morning AND take my dog with me. =)

this will work out because i think in a couple years we'll be ready to head to the suburbs and then we can buy a house. ;)

Current Mood: happy

my hormones are driving me CRAZY. i don't know what is up lately (maybe ttc makes me nuts), but...lol. everything has this ridiculous URGENCY that, when i stop and think about it...doesn't really make much sense.

sometimes, i don't know where to fit it all in. i want kids, we're ready for kids...but my job is such that, being pregnant is going to affect it and...i dunno. *shrugs* =/ lots to think about.

i'm sipping my kava kava, getting ready to make dinner. we did SERIOUS shopping today. our house is full of healthy snacks which makes me very very happy. =)

i hate that name for my business, so i'm trying to come up with a new one (NOT CHEESEY).

this rain is KILLING ME. overcast for days.

still waiting to hear back from the shelter. I HOPE I GOT THE JOB!!!

ziggy, a french bulldog, gave me a fat lip yesterday =( it hurts!!!

gotta take the dog out and clean/clean/clean

i'm thinking of eventually deleting my livejournal.

about to bake fresh bread in a few...whole wheat bread.

i'm getting all domestic lately. cooking & cleaning & spending more quality time with piffy. it feels right. like, maybe i'm growing up a bit and discovering things i truly value and letting some of the stuff i don't fall by the wayside.

i'm relaxing into my life quite nicely. i think my period is on the way. =/ we will see!!! <3

I made my first Cookie Lee Jewelry Sale. =) GORGEOUS JEWELRY. If you'd like to see a catalogue, let me know!!! <3

Today was a good day. Landon & I went jogging w/ Olive this morning. Olive was groomed this afternoon and we ran errands all day. Found some great prospective new homes.

I don't feel like doing much this evening. Just going to veg. There's a pit bull event tomorrow in Edgewater. We may have to check it out. =)

i got him to actually eat with me @ the table. =P SO STUBBORN. still, we're going to make it a habit. we both had a lot of fun (chardonnay helps). even the dog seemed pleased. =)

I AM MAKING THE BEST THING FOR A RAINY DAY! Chicken Chili. =) YAY!!!

We found a dream location (rent) for the next year, but...THEY HAVE BREED RESTRICTIONS!!!. =( Lol. Landon wasn't ready for that. He was pretty pissed.

We love our Olive Oil. <3 <3 <3

i need to go get my chores done. have a great weekend everybody!!!

i shouldn't have to beg/plead to have dinner @ the dinner table. i mean, that's for some people and some people choose not to.

just for the record i have been trying for FOUR FUCKING YEARS to eat real meals at the dinner table. my husband flat out refuses b/c he doesn't see the point.

i love him, but sometimes he can be a real asshat.

because i just have diarrhea of the mouth and then i turn around and realize things aren't THAT bad.

They always SEEM like they're that bad and then...I dunno...

Ask and it is given. It's a good feeling to have real friends & encouragement. The people in my life, plus all of you. It is little words of encouragement that can help someone just make it through the day with a smile on their face and be ready to face the next day.

I have come so far and yet I still have a ways to go. I think EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Even the shitty stuff. My grandfather taught me that. I am who I am today because of him.

( Granddaddy Matthews )
LOL. I have none of that stoic-ness. I need to get some! He's the barometer in my life...the person I want to make proud most of all. I think if I remember that from day to day I'll be on the right track.

Today is going to be a GREAT day!

oof. today is a rough day. i'm trying to figure out how to adjust to my new schedule. working 7-2 is great, but all i want to do is sleep when i get home. either that or eat. not good!!!

=/. i haven't had much energy to go to the gym lately. w/ how intense work is...i dunno... convincing myself to hit the gym is a chore and a half. i hate being overweight again. i worked so hard to lose weight before the wedding and although i haven't gained all of it back, i've gained enough of it back to feel uncomfortable =/

i also feel nauseous today. i've wasted so many pregnancy tests in the past 4 months, you don't even want to know. my cycles run SO LONG. like, i dunno even know when my period is due. maybe in a couple weeks?...

AND...i have an interview tomorrow at the local animal shelter...which is the work I REALLY want to be doing.

i feel like things are just spiraling, and i don't know how to fix them. i mean, i know how to fix them, but how do you fit it all in?

=( i just want to feel loved.

lol. me=emo!

Current Mood: tubby-licious

well, we love liam and want him to death, but piffy & i talked about it and we just don't feel comfortable fostering/adopting him right now since we're renting. just THREE more months! but still, it just wouldn't feel right.

( The Liam Experience )
he LOVES food puzzles & play sessions. he knows how to fetch. he is very clever. he's the type of dog you could teach to do a million and one tricks. HE LOVES KIDS! he is really in tune to people and adjusts his exuberance accordingly.

we could give him a good home. but, he will find another good home and if not, i guess he will become ours. =)

this has been an AMAZING experience. it makes me realize how much i want to work with animals and help them be GREAT pets. =) i want to become a certified trainer. i'm good with fearful animals @ work. i'm getting better @ handling the rowdy ones. it floors me. growing up i was AFRAID of dogs...now i approach dobermans, akitas, rotties & pit bulls with more ease than i ever thought possible.

( Emergency Call Into Work )

NO MORE TALK ABOUT DOGS FOR A WHILE!!! piffy wants to do the blueprint cleanse!!! i never thought i'd see the day!!! lol. he is pumped up to get fit this summer. he's been to the gym more in the past week than i have!!!

werd.

Current Mood: exhausted

lol, so it just so happens i may be a home-OWNER in sept. 2009. brad, one of my colleagues, just happens to be a loan officer and we got to chatting about the market, homes, what we could afford in the area. he's pulling listings and willing to start the process for us...=)

we may foster liam. we'll see how this weekend goes. my FEET are killing me after this week. i may have to go to a podiatrist (or just get better shoes for work, etc.). up @ 6:30 am to take the beasts on a walk. lol. olive is smitten. she was all kissy-face with liam last night & was happy to see him when i got home from work.

i work tomorrow morning @ 7am. i worked 7am-8pm yesterday. holidays are our busiest time...lol, i started out the day working with an unruly akita...i was like, if i make it through today i'll know i really love this job.

AND I DO! such a passion for it. i am glad i discovered dogs. i get up every morning (lately roll out of bed, with major bedhead) & feel ready to face the day. they teach me patience everyday. even my relationship with my cats is stronger because of learning about dogs. i believe dogs can help us humans heal and get back to a natural state of wellness. that's my dream. to bridge the two. there are a lot of hurting people right now and i believe animals are one way we can address that hurt. they heal past wounds for me everyday and help me live in the moment. i am so grateful for them.

well, i better hit the showers. <3 have a blessed weekend everybody!!! =)

Current Mood: accomplished

my hubby is telling me i'm being silly about people in the building complaining about liam.

he is in the process of thinking of a wicked cool name ;)

i = teh suck @ fostering. we'll see how it goes, but, if all goes according to plan i think he's found a home.

noel is not afraid of him @ all and roams around as she pleases (she is filling satine's role when we got olive). thomas is not cool with him @ all and has taken to hiding (he's fulfilling noel's old role).

THE ONLY BAD THING LIAM HAS DONE THUS FAR IS BRING FLEAS INTO MY HOUSE.

once we get rid of those it's all good.

he is also the perfect family dog. i can tell =)

liam is such a life-saver. he just helped me to come out of my head for a bit. he was such a good boy last night. he jumped @ thomas, so we put the dogs in the bedroom with us and let the cats roam free. i was afraid thomas would shred the toilet paper/paper towel (his favorite past-time when he's pissed), but he left both intact. noel is fierce. she wasn't very afraid of him. i missed sleeping with my tom cat =)

liam pretty much slept the entire time he was here. he is house-trained. he listened when i told him to stay off the furniture. i walked him & olive this morning @ 5am...i am beat, but it was well worth it.

landon and i are taking the evening off and then picking him up tomorrow to take him home through Monday. i want to get the crate out of storage and see how he'd do in one. we'll see.

i can't wait to go hiking with olive & liam on SATURDAY. it is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!

i am too tired to think clearly right now. nap time!!!

what a weird day.

meet liam:



he is @ our house right now. he was scheduled to be killed yesterday, but the rescue group pulled him from the shelter and brought him to our kennel to foster.

he has poor social skills, and since it's going to be BUSY @ work, my manager asked me to foster him this weekend since we are going to be crowded as is.

lol. he is PERFECT. the cats h8 him and he's not sure what to make of them, but...i dunno. he grows on me. =)


i want him. i wish people didn't HATE on pit bulls so.

what an odd day.

allergies are driving me CRAZY this year. my eyes are dry all the time and I wake up with a sore throat...yuck!!! =( post-nasal drip means I wake up with a stomach ache...not a fun way to start the day at all!

i'm trying to kick caffeine, but maybe now is not the time...it's the only thing that makes me feel sane...i know it's bad for me and doesn't help with dehydration, but w/o it lately i'm just UGH.

i know it's memorial day weekend, which i should be excited about, but i have to work almost the entire weekend!!! i mean, it's cool, i'm working a double friday, i get time and a fourth sunday and then monday i get time and a half. yesterday i felt so sick and was not into walking dogs. i came home, did a few chores around the house and landon took care of me the rest of the night, like the sweetheart he is =) olive took care of me too. we're taking her hiking, FINALLY, on saturday to celebrate memorial day.

my body isn't cooperating lately. =/ i don't know how to get things in sync. i've been eating tons of fresh fruit & veggies...i've been taking wheatgrass...it all seems to be mucked up & broken...either it's de-toxing or i'm just doing something horribly wrong.

mercury retrograde is teh suck.

Current Mood: ick

i am exhausted this morning from a combination of allergy meds, running around doing errands, exercise & getting up earlier for work. this SUCKS. =/ i'm re-arranging things in my life and i still feel like i'm not achieving all my goals.

it's thursday, so what should i expect? it's like, losing weight, juggling my gym schedule with work, AND having enough time for friends/landon/& house chores just leaves me feeling exhausted. not to mention i don't always have enough time to focus on my future career goals/etc. i know when i have kids all that will change even more...really, i don't know how mothers do it.

i guess i just feel like i let myself down today b/c i didn't go to spin class, i slept in AND i ate two huge bowls of cereal when i got up b/c i was just RIDICULOUSLY hungry. IT'S NOT EVEN 9AM YET!!!

i don't think other people have this mental roadblock that i have...this idea that life's moving so incredibly fast that you can never really get a handle on it...like, just live your life jenn...i dunno...

i also daydream a ridiculous amount about stupid shit.

lol. NOT FEELING BAD TODAY, BUT NOT FEELING GOOD EITHER. somewhere in limbo.

i'm going to go make coffee and get my day started.

Current Mood: exhausted

I've been going through stuff like whoa lately. Mental gymnastics and crappy feelings. Overall annoyance combined with moments of sadness.

Big changes are coming, 'cause I'm just over it. =)

Gratitudes
1. Simple, inexpensive date with my man...free movie + foodcourt dinner ;)
2. Sunny day!!! =)
3. Meditation class this morning
4. Rocking 1.5 hour spin class
5. Ate healthy ALL DAY yesterday. Made good choices =)
6. Making up with my hubberz after a rough morning...knowing how much we've grown and knowing we still grow a bit each day (if, of course, we're paying attention ;) )
7. No more caffeine/alcohol for a bit. =) Taking care of my body.
8. Jogging with Olive this morning
9. Surprise text messages
10. Moms...everywhere...Happy Mother's Day!

i need to make this quick so i can do my meditation/take the dog out, etc.

we took lucius out for a walk thursday...and he is actually pretty good on a leash! i jogged with him a bit friday morning too. i don't know why, i just love him. =) boy dogs are so much different than girl dogs and i don't know if his energy is quite right for our household, but we'll see. right now i'm content to spoil him with walks and love and training.

anthony was actually friendly yesterday...lol...and laura and i were friendly back, mainly b/c after our shift was over we had gone out for long island iced teas for lunch & laura received a text from one of our clients asking her to take lady (the most adorable king cavalier/bull dog mix) home for the weekend. so, we figured it was a GREAT time to go back to work. LOL. & it was. i wish people would just let go of the past so that we can all move on...but i've decided i'm moving on, regardless.

the FDA recalled hydroxycut. not good. =/

i really do have the best job ever. 1-play fetch with half-blind, 13 year old chihuahua (who is actually REALLY good at fetch =) ), 2-play fetch with callie the pit bull, 3-take lucius on nice jog/walk, 4-play tug of war with kiedis (weimarainer), big fat brian (lab), henry (lab) & dakota (newfoundland), 5-walk harley(chihuhua), riley (maltese?), moose (feist), & maggie.

That was my day yesterday. SO EASY! It's so easy to go to my job in the morning, b/c I know, no matter what, I'm going to have fun & for the most part no stress will be involved.

I'm getting back into my meditation routine. I want this to be a summer filled with good things & lots of fun. I'm sure it will be! =)